Harry Pottah!

Here it is:

The post that I have been planning on writing for a looong time now.  The post in which I tell you every single thing that I know about Harry Potter before I start reading the books.

Yes, I have Book 1 in my possession, and I fully intend on reading it.  Now that I'm writing this post, I really have to.

So, as you may or may not know, I am going to see the midnight showing of Harry Potter in a little over a week, and I have not read a single book.  I avoided it for quite a while.  I once tried reading the first book, and I read the first chapter.  But then I had dreams about how the author was writing just for money and I stopped reading it.  Now, I'm willing to crack open that first book again and hopefully finish the whole series so I can know what the heck people are talking about.  But most everyone I know has read them, so I've learned a lot over the years.

To start off, I've seen the first and the fifth movie.  I'm pretty sure I've seen parts of the second movie too, but I really can't be sure.  Anyway, I only really remember the first one, so I've got the basics down.
Harry Potter grows up in an abusive household that keeps him in a room under the stairs for most of his life.  His parents were killed at an early age (by Voldemort [he who shall not be named, or something like that]), and that left Harry with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead because he was somehow able to escape.
Harry has an adopted brother who is a spoiled brat and Harry's parents are mean.  One day, Harry receives a mystical letter from a place called Hogwarts.  This is a school of wizardry, and apparently, young Harry is a wizard (not a muggle, which are regular people like me).  Harry's parents don't let him have his letter, and in the days that follow, messenger owls deliver hundreds of identical letters to Harry's house.
Some things transpire, I think, and Harry ends up getting to go to Hogwarts anyway.  There's something to do with Hagrid, who is this really big hairy guy.
At school, Harry meets Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, who become his good friends.  I think this is the part where I can start listing what I know because mostly it's just different characters.  I also know that a lot of people die, so I will indicate if I know that they die in the parentheses after their name, along with a short description of what I know about them.

• Harry Potter (obvious)
• Ron Weasley (Harry's best friend)
• Hermione Granger (another best friend, a perfectionist)
• Hagrid (big weird guy)
• Hedwig (Harry's pet owl)
• Draco Malfoy (a mean boy)
• Dumbledore (important wizard; dies)
• Severus Snape (a professor; dies [pretty sure he does])
• Sirius Black (an awesome wolf guy; dies)
• Cedric Diggory (played by Rob Pattinson; dies)
• Luna Lovegood (a weird girl)
• Ginny (marries Harry at the end of the series)
• Dobby (a weird servant creature)
• Voldemort (he who shall not be named; I assume he dies in the end)
• Some lady with hair that changes colors (she dies, and so does her husband [?] and maybe her child too)
• A teacher who turns into a cat

Okay, I guess I am running out of characters now.  Anyway, those are the people that I know, and I'm sure I'll meet a lot more when I start reading. Some stuff will probably come back into memory.

Other than characters, I do not know very much about the books and the plot.  I know they like to play Quidditch, and there's a whole big thing with Harry and Voldemort battling it out.  There's also something about Dumbledore's Army which seems to be a really big deal with a lot of people.

I know that the three main people--Harry, Ron, and Hermione--survive, and Harry gets married and has kids, and I'm pretty darn sure that Ron and Hermione get married.

So, I think that is about it for what I know about Harry Potter. I might just start reading it right now.  But first, I wish to set some guidelines for myself that I'm sure I will break anyway but whatever.

1. Do not get obsessed.  I can see you HP fans right now laughing at me. I know! It's probably an impossible expectation, but you don't know how bad I can get. Obsession for me is a chronic disease. One particular obsession can last for years, and the lingering effects can resurface at any time. So when I say that I do not want to get obsessed, I mean when I start saying everything reminds me of Harry Potter and I talk about it all the time, please stop me. Tell me that this is happening so at least I am aware. Because sometimes it can sneak up and I don't even notice.
2. Finish before the very last movie.  Not the one coming in a number of days, no. I'm not that crazy.  The one that is coming in I think June. Or July. I would like to be legitimately excited for one thing that everyone is excited about too.
3. No buying shirts, dressing up, or anything of the like.  This goes along with 1, but I'm serious about this. I do not want to become the very people I have been making fun of for years! Years! I am reading these books to become informed, not to go crazy.

Whew. Those are the very few (yet very demanding) goals that I have set for myself. Now I think I'm going to  actually start reading. Ah!

Want to see my other posts about the series? Right here.